Sorry I Took So Long
by KoolJack1
Summary: Emily does what she always should have.


I know it's a bad idea, yet I can't stop myself from knocking on the door. It's late, well really its early; nearly one o'clock in the morning. I know he's awake though, I remember him telling me he has a very hard time sleeping. I hear the chain on the other side of the door slide out of the lock and the door knob turns, and there he is.

Spencer is wearing nothing but flannel pajama bottoms, his chest surprisingly bare. His hair is ruffled, his feet bare; and it makes my heart ache that I haven't seen him in so long. "Emily?" He asks uncertainly. Reid suffers from trust issues from his past, and I knew he'd have the hardest time with me leaving. I thought about him a lot, and I'm here to tell him that. I just stare at him, our eyes meeting. There is something different about him, very different. He's a man, not a boy. He holds our eye contact steadily where the old Spencer would have broken it instantly. His posture is better too, straight and secure instead of slouched and vulnerable. He's even more built now; still rail thin but now I can see the muscles move in his chest.

"I missed you," I whisper honestly, and his lips twitch slightly. The old Spencer would have already broken this face and smiled or cried. This new man before me has learned to hide his feelings well, and in a way that makes me sad.

"Come in," he says quietly, his hand taking my arm gently and pulling me through the door. He shuts it quietly and turns to face me.

The mask is gone now, and I can see the hurt and betrayal mixed with something I've always been afraid to label in his eyes. "I thought about you all the time Spencer, I missed you. I missed my best friend. I'm sorry, I know you're angry and hurt but I want to make it up to you. I want to be in your life again like I was and hang out. I want to be even closer Spencer, it hurt to be away from you." The old Spencer would have stuttered a reply and mentally shelled himself off. All he did now was stand there, his eyes taking me in.

"I am angry," he finally said, "but I am more happy that you are okay, that's what is really important. I missed you, so much." His voice breaks a little, and I can tell he's trying so hard not to be like he once was. I want him to, I want him to be like my old Spencer who wasn't afraid to cry.

Unsure of his reaction, I step forward and wrap my arms around him. His body jerks slightly, his arms tense as he slowly returns my hug. I had made it a goal of mine to get him to like being touched more before all these things started happening, and now that I was back I was going to make it happen. I tucked my head against his neck just as a sob bubbled out of my chest. His arms tightened around me and I felt him take a step, and I let him pull me over to the couch. He pulls me down with him and I'm in his lap, my damp face pressed against his long neck. I press my lips against his neck to feel his pulse, and his body jerks again.

"I'm so sorry, please find it in your heart to forgive me," I beg quietly, pressing another kiss to his pale skin.

"I was never angry at you Emily, I was angry for you," he said, and that's why I love him. I tighten my hold on him and sit up a little, sucking on the soft skin that vibrates along with his heart. He makes a noise in his throat and tries to move his head, but I tangle my fingers in his soft hair.

"Don't move, just feel," I instruct him. I feel him wiggle beneath me uncomfortably, but I reattach my lips to his neck and let my free hand graze his shoulders and biceps. He's shaking, his fingers gripping my back tightly.

"I've never-"

"I know," I cut him off, biting down on his neck gently. He gasps a little, his hands tightening suddenly. "You can make a little noise you know, if it feels good." He swallows thickly.

"It does feel good," he whispers back, and I smile against his skin. Being gone made me realize I may never get another chance to do this, because you never know when is the last time you'll see someone. The thought makes me kiss up his cheek to his lips, slowly moving them together. I peek out from under my lids as I move to deepen the kiss only to find his tightly shut. His tongue stays back so I let mine find his, and as soon as they touch he sits up straighter. It's inexperienced and a little sloppy, but he mirrors what I do and slowly we find a nice pace. His hands move up and down my back a little lost, so I take his wrists and move them to my chest. His hands are still, and his mouth freezes for a second before he breaks away.

"Are you sure? I'm okay with just this, you don't have to do anything else," he says, he's always such a gentleman.

"I'm sure, I want this," I assure him. He takes a deep breath and his fingers twitch on my breast. He's hard, I can feel it against my leg when we adjust ourselves so I'm straddling his lap. I press a kiss to his forehead while he works on the buttons of my blouse. I can't believe I'm really here, with Spencer Reid; about to have sex with the most wonderful man I ever met.

He makes quick work of the shirt then surprisingly pulls me forward to lick along my bra. I tangle my hands in his hair and pull, hard enough to hurt but he only moans quietly. "You like that?" I ask breathlessly as he undoes my bra and latches onto my nipple.

"Pull harder," he mumbles against my skin. I consider it for a moment, afraid to hurt him. I remind myself he's a grown man, and I knot my fingers tightly and pull roughly. His head jerks and he gasps, yanking his head back to lick at my chest. It has to hurt, but he remains quiet. Suddenly his fingers are in my jeans and I feel him gently stroke me. I'm already wet, and I know he feels it because he slowly slides his finger inside me. I reach down to unbutton my jeans and sit up a little to push them and my panties down. His finger wiggles and sends a rush through me and I fall back against him.

"Oh God, Reid," I moan, my hands traveling all over his chest, "You don't have to be so gentle." His finger is gone for a second and then is replaced by three. He sets a pace, and I quickly pull his pants down to free his cock. It's impressively big, and I wrap my fingers around it and try to keep pace with him.

"Fuck," he moans, and it goes straight through me. I've never heard him curse, and it's the hottest thing I've ever heard. I bite his shoulder and his back arches, and I take the chance to suck his nipple in return. His chest is heaving, his fingers still now.

"Condoms?" I ask him before he is totally lost.

"Bedroom," he gasps as I let my fingers massage his balls. "Nightstand."

He whines as I quickly get up and hurry down the hall to get them. They are right on top, unopened yet not expired. I return to find him with his hands working his cock. I watch for a second as he arches, his pants off now. I put the box down and kneel between his legs. I remove his hands and hold them tightly as I bend down to press a kiss to the head of his cock. His body jerks back, his eyes twitching open. "You don't have to do that," he blurts out and I smile a little.

"Just let me know if it stops feeling good." His head settles back and I slowly take him in my mouth. His legs are shaking, and I release one of his hands to use mine to push them apart and bend them. I keep a hold on one and use the other to roll his balls around again. He likes that, I can tell. I let my fingers find the sensitive area just beneath and I press against it. His hands clench and his muscles contract tightly.

"Don't do that," he gasps, and I pull my fingers back. I remember Spencer telling me about a time in high school when some of the kids...touched him after they'd taken his clothes. It was part of the reason why I never made a move towards this sooner, and I think it's part of the reason why he'd never done this before. I don't ask questions, but I release him from my mouth and kiss back up his chest again.

"I love you, Emily," he admits, and my heart tightens.

"I love you too, I always have. I'm sorry this took so long..."

"Don't be sorry, you're here now," and I kiss him again as he slowly rolls on top of me.


End file.
